Da. This country isn’t big enough for the two of you, tovarisch.

Of course, this makes our Tool none other than former KGB bigwig turned empire-building democracy-oriented politician, Leader of the semi-Free World, the President of the USSR… sorry, I mean Russia, Vladimir Poutin.

He’s not content with being the leader of the largest and most powerful of the former Soviet nations and all of the trappings of power that come with the position. He’s not content with his pet war in Chechnya and the related crusade against terrorism. He’s not content with the pleasure derived from imprisoning his only real rival and confiscating the man’s company (don’t hear much about what’s going on there these days, do we?). Well, I guess he’s just not content. He seems to be on a quest for more. Not necessarily for more power, influence, or money, although those are all good, just More.

It’s time, he believes, for there to be a large eastern free market, somewhat modelled economically after the European Union. The Ukraine is big, it has a lot of people, and it’s got the biggest economy in the area next to his. Get the Ukraine on board and everyone else will probably follow. But how to do it when so many of its people are looking toward the west and closer ties with Europe. Hmm. I know, he could support a candidate that can be manipulated into supporting his views, funnel him some money, give him a little advice here and there on how to manipulate the campaign and its results, then sit back and watch the votes roll in.

This might even have worked if the voting irregularities hadn’t been so glaringly obvious and stupid. Not to mention the attempted poisoning. Ukranians weren’t impressed. Twelve days later, they still aren’t and there are still thousands of people demonstrating in the streets of Kiev and elsewhere.

It’s bad enough that Poutin interfered with an election in another country in the first place – what would he have said during his last campaign if some other foreign leader had endorsed one of his opponents? – but today he issued a statement to the effect that he doesn’t think another vote is necessary. The same thing will happen again, he says, with both sides complaining until they get the results they want.

Of course another election isn’t necessary, not after all of the trouble he went to in fixing the first one to get the result he wanted. If I were the Ukranian people, I’d be flipping old Vlad a pretty serious Middle Finger right now, and I imagine a lot of them are. Well, I’m not Ukranian nor am I of Ukranian descent, but I’ll add my middle finger to theirs.

Mind your own damned business, you Tool.