Use the Force, Paul

Today’s Tool is that ever-humble, back woods, charming country boy and failed oil tycoon, White House dwelling right wing arch-conservative President of the United States of America, and supposed Leader of the Free World, George W. Bush (although I don’t remember an election for that last position and I certainly wouldn’t have voted for him).

On the occasion of his first state visit to Canada, nearly four years after first taking office, which shows you where we are on the Republican priority list, Dubya brought up a topic with Paulie that wasn’t on the official agenda. Not that any agenda should be rigidly followed, but it’s one thing to bring something up in a private meeting and quite another to share that with the press afterward, particularly when it’s a subject that someone on his staff must have been able to tell him that the majority of Canadians are not all that thrilled with.

I’m talking about the planned Missile Defense System, of course. Star Wars Light you might call it.

I understand that he’s got to posture for his own media, most of which isn’t bothering to cover this state visit in any real detail, but most of us don’t really want another arms race. And that’s the obvious and pending result. The Chinese and Russians are both nervous, the latter having stated that they are starting work on missiles that will be able to defeat the system.

He’s keen on the new defense system. He needs it somehow. It’s become important to him in ways we mere mortals can’t understand. Perhaps it’s a legacy issue, or a tribute to those right-wingers who have gone before. I don’t know, but he’s made it a point to try beating our apparently weak-willed Prime Minister into jumping on board. Paul’s trying to sit the fence, of course, particularly since he doesn’t have a majority in Parliament. And perhaps the Force is a little stronger in him than we think. He hasn’t quite surrendered to the Dark Side... yet.

But if 9-11, Iraq, and his many other lacklustre or incompetent performances weren’t enough, Missile Defense, if it works out, will assure Dubya’s place in history. We may look back at this time in a decade or so and see it as the dawning days of Cold War Episode II: Attack of the Clods. Thanks, Dubya.

You Tool.

The Game Isn’t Going My Way, So I’ll Change the Rules

Our inaugural Tool is none other than Ontario’s own Minister of Health and Long-Term Care, The Honourable George Smitherman.

In accordance with one of the few election promises the Liberals haven’t yet broken (nor kept, for that matter), that of improved Health Care, Minister Smitherman spent nine months negotiating a new deal for doctors with the OMA. It was a deal filled with wonderful ideas and sweeping changes, spectacular incentives and new ways of thinking. Yea, He saw the deal and saw that it was good. And the OMA said that verily, it was a good deal and shall be presented to the doctors of Ontario forthwith.

Yet, Ontario’s doctors weren’t as sure of the inherent goodness of the deal. In fact, many of them failed to see said goodness in its entirety and didn’t really like what they did see. Since every collective agreement must be approved by the union or organization membership it affects, the doctors took some time to read over the documents involved and then cast their votes.

They voted against it by about a 6-4 margin. Not exactly an overwhelming majority, but a far stronger number than the 50% + 1 that the separatists want in Québec.

Boy, that must stick in Georgie’s craw. In fact, it apparently bothered him so much that he called in the leadership of OMA. Great, they thought, we’re going to go back to the negotiating table and smooth things out. We’ll get this right.

But such was not George’s plan. Instead, he presented them with a tiny information packet and press release regarding a slightly modified version of the agreement that he’s worked out in the spare time he’s had since the Docs told him to stuff the original. Magnanimous gentleman that he is, he gave them a choice between taking it voluntarily or taking it because he said so, backed up by his pal Dalton and the rest of the Ontario Liberal muscle at Queen’s Park. Almost simultaneously, the same release went out to the press.

Way to go George! I haven’t seen such a Conservative maneuver since Mike Harris surrendered the reins of provincial power a couple of years back. Why didn’t we see it coming? Wow, that’ll sure bring those doctors into line. Now let’s get those P3 hospitals back on the board.

You Tool.