All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Or, in plain old Klein-speak, I don’t want them homos to be able to get married. It ain’t right ’cause it says so in the Bible.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you today’s Tool, the Premier of Alberta, Ralph Klein.

In fairness, here's the relevant, and actual, quote: "I have friends who are gays and friends who are lesbians, and they are wonderful people. I do feel that gays and lesbians ought not to be discriminated against in any other form other than marriage because I think that marriage is a sacred thing that exists between a man and a woman." Among probably many other places, you can find this quote embedded in an article here.

Let's take this thing a piece at a time, starting at the bottom.

"I think that marriage is a sacred thing that exists between a man and a woman." Translation: homos gittin' married just ain't right and it says so in the Bible.

"I do feel that gays and lesbians ought not to be discriminated against in any other form other than marriage." Subtext: But this one little type of discrimination is okay - after all, it's marriage we're talking about and it just ain't right for homos to git married. It says so in the Bible.

"They are wonderful people." That's entirely possible, but if they were friends of Ralpho I'd have to give that some real thought.

"I have friends who are gays and friends who are lesbians." Newsflash: not after this statement, you don't.

We all know that Ralpho’s a redneck, and a drunken redneck at times, but sheesh! Does he have to keep reminding us?

I wish I had some kind of mental crowbar to pry open the ridiculously closed minds of Ralpho and the rest of the rabid anti-same sex marriage flock. Maybe a really simple analogy, such as you often find on the poorly written American television we're often forced to watch might work. Probably not, but hey, anything's worth a try.

This is really delicious ice cream. Boy, I love my ice cream. I could eat this ice cream forever and ever and... hey! You've got ice cream! You can't have ice cream. Only I can have ice cream. That's not fair! Waaaaaahhhhhh!

Simple message: it doesn't affect you. Get over it!

And that includes you, Ralph. The guy’s like the Mel Lastman of the West - talks with his foot in his mouth up past the knee and won't shut up. How does he keep getting elected?

What a Tool.