Colossal Tool Retires!

The Duke of Indecision, the Count of Confusion, the Prince of Flip-Flops, the undisputed King of Waffles, former Ontario Premier Ernie Eves is retiring.

No, he didn’t do anything especially Toolish today. Really though, hasn’t he done enough in the past? Let me count the ways…

Ontario Hydro, the LCBO, Highway 407... actually, let me not count the ways. It's too depressing.

Good riddance, you Tool.

We Can Only Depend On Ourselves, But Thanks For The Cheque.

Ariel Sharon, the Prime Minister of Israel may be a leader struggling to pull his people out of an untenable, unpleasant, and un-respected situation. He’s add a rough time clinging to power while trying to pull it off, the head honcho of a belligerent little nation surrounded by enemies who hate it. One suspects that there’s some strength to be found in the old guy. He must be a strong leader to have come through so far and he must be a fast talker.

He’s also a colossal Tool.

Auschwitz was liberated 60 years ago today. What went on there and in Birkenau is chilling to think about even so many years later for someone like me, whose father was less than a year old at the time.

In referencing Auschwitz on Wednesday, Sharon told the Knesset that, "The allies knew of the annihilation of the Jews. They knew and did nothing."

The Allied leadership certainly knew, as did some members of the fledgling intelligence community and even select members of certain civilian agencies and corporations knew.

He went on at length, criticizing the actions of the Allies, and the lack of certain actions, and noting that the world doesn’t really like Jews anyway.

"The sad and horrible conclusion is that no one cared that Jews were being murdered… this is the Jewish lesson of the Holocaust and this is the lesson which Auschwitz taught us…The state of Israel learned this lesson and since its establishment, it has done its utmost to defend itself and its citizens, and provide a safe haven for any Jew, wherever he may be. We know that we can trust no one but ourselves."

Let’s just forget that Israel exists as a nation today only because of the collective global guilt of the Allies once the knowledge spread beyond the privileged few of what the Nazis had done to the Jews o Europe. Let’s forget that the Holy Land was staked out and divided up without any respect or input from the people who had been living there for thousands of years. Let’s forget about the big fat handout that Israel still gets from the United States every year to supplement their own budget (it’s currently somewhere in the neighbourhood of $3 billion, and it adds up to a lot more since 1949, and the annual budget of the country was a mere $56 billion in 2002).

Yes, the Holocaust was probably the single darkest event in human history, in scale if not hatred. Yes, there were people who knew what was going on and didn’t act as they should have. But to say that no one cared that Jews were being murdered is a gross exaggeration and does a huge injustice to a world that showed it did care once it knew what had been happening.

You can’t have it both ways, you Tool. If Jews (and it seems to me that you mainly mean Israelis – not quite the same thing) can only depend on themselves, then you’ve got an awful lot of money to give back. Why don’t you start with last year’s $3 billion.

Now if the world could have cared about Rwanda a decade ago or could find more of a heart for Darfur right now.

Excuse Me While I Let My Imagination Run Wild In Public.

This is just too easy. It’s hard not to pick on Stephen Harper, but he’s been fairly quiet lately, mostly because Parliament isn’t in session, so this is my first real opportunity for a while.

Without bothering to talk to the rest of the party (well, he is the leader, after all), he’s run a series of targeted ads in ethnic and community newspapers trying to stir up some extra anti-marriage sentiments and swing a few Liberal votes over to the Reform/Alliance/Conservative party. The ads were run mainly in areas where the Tories have few seats so the vote swing might be critical when the current government falls. Sounds like a no lose proposition, yes?

But it seems to be a divisive issue, and a lot of members of the minority communities are understandably upset with Harper for the blatant fear-mongering, pandering to prejudice and throwing fuel on the bonfire of racial intolerance. But maybe a cage match with minority against minority is a good idea to distract them from the real issues hanging around, like child poverty in Canada, or BSE, or the pathetic level of spending on social programs, the military, and just about everything else over the last couple of decades, or even taxes. There are literally dozens, I not hundreds, of real issues that he could be worries about instead of wasting time on something that’s mostly a matter of semantics and is already legal in most of the country anyway.

Now, the ads were consented to by the Party, at least to be made, but the decision to run them and when was 100% Stevie. I guess he felt that the timing was good with both Cardinal Ambrozic and the head of the Sikh Golden Temple both unable to keep their noses out of Canadian politics with attacks on the issue.

Never mind that his Party hasn’t even had a policy convention yet, so there isn’t an official party position, and being against same sex marriage is by no means a certainty. Division in the party. Maybe. The other guy who dreamed up this supposedly unified party, Deputy Conservative Leader Peter MacKay wasn’t aware that the ads were going to run. Of course, how much is he aware of? And does it count for anything that Barbie is taking the opposite position? She isn’t the only MP who’s said so and most of the Québec members of the party are likely to tell Harper to shove it.

Does the targeting of minorities show any respect for them? Not really, just political opportunism blowing up in his face. And it’s obviously an obsession, following on the heels of his recent fantasy that this is just one step along the secret Liberal path to polygamy. I wonder about that one, though, is Stevie becoming a little more unhinged or is he casting an eye about for wife number two?

What a Tool.

It’s My Problem, But I’ll Sue If I Want To.

A long time problem gambler, Constantin Digalakis is suing the Ontario Government and Lottery. I listened to a radio interview with this Tool this morning, and what I got from it is that, at various points during his descent into bankruptcy, he signed voluntary trespassing orders to keep him off of casino grounds. Any time he felt he had the problem licked, he’d ask for them to be voided. As they were voluntary, the government would say yes. There was a lifetime ban, again voluntary, that he officially asked to have lifted a few years ago. The casinos agreed, of course. After all, it’s a personal decision.

So now he’s suing the government, claiming that the lifting of his ban amounts to a breach of agreement because the casinos knew he had a serious gambling problem.

Wait, let me get this straight. The casinos breached the agreement that he officially asked to be lifted, so he’s suing the government (who basically owns the casinos).

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

This, of course, is the tack the casinos are taking, that the onus is on the gambler to stay out, that Digalakis’s losses are entirely due to his own actions. In effect, they’re saying that he should have kept himself out. Can you sue a liquor store if you’re an alcoholic? A convenience store if you’re a smoker?

Granted that he was courted as a big spender (playing the $20 and $100 slot machines and throwing around thousands of dollars at the tables will give that impression), and granted that pathological gambling has been recognized as a legitimate mental illness, is this self-described top Canadian real estate professional and pathological Tool entitled to sue for $3 million because he refused to seek help for the problem as soon as he figured out he had one?

Again, whatever happened to personal responsibility? This guy is as bad as the stunned twit a few years ago who managed to sue McDonald’s because the coffee she put in her lap was hot and burned her when she spilled it.

While I have a certain amount of sympathy for your wife and children, whose lives you’ve certainly messed up, you deserve what you’ve gotten, you Tool, and there’s no reason my tax dollars should pay for it.

You’re All Sick And Not Welcome In The Golden Temple.

Okay, it’s bad enough that religious figures in our own country are trying to influence politics, and we all know where the Pope stands, but now Giani Joginder Singh Vedanti, chief Cleric of the Golden Temple and the Sikh equivalent of the Pope, has waded into the issue. CBC has a bit of coverage here. CTV has a bit of rival coverage. Actually, it's all over the place.

"Same-sex marriage originates from a sick mind," he said. "The trend needs to be curbed."

Once again, we are talking about Civil marriage. Vedanti is entirely free to bar Sikh priests the world over from solemnizing same-sex marriages. As the Sikh religious leader, he has the religious authority to do so, and the obligation to do so if his studies of religious text and tradition indicate that’s the way the world should be viewed. Secular politics is another matter, particularly in another country.

One wonders if maybe Vedanti isn’t a bit petulant that Martini cancelled his visit to the Golden Temple city of Amritsar so that he could drop in on tsunami-devastated Sri Lanka and Thailand. Poor baby.

I know we’ve got the largest Sikh population outside of India, and I welcome the ethnic variety in our country, but if you’re going to interfere in politics, worry about what’s going on in your own country.

I Know What’s Best For All Of You, So Shut Up.

A religious Tool today, but with a very certain political bent.

Cardinal Aloysius Ambrozic, the Archbishop of Toronto (Roman Catholic) wrote Paul Martin a letter urging him to maintain the traditional definition of marriage. (Here and here for a couple of quick overviews added after I originally wrote this.)

My views on gay marriage have been noted in a previous Tool nomination. It’s a social justice issue and let’s get it over with already. As much as I disagree with him, I certainly respect the right of Cardinal Ambrozic to have his own opinion. I further respect his right to express that opinion in a letter to the Prime Minister, or any member of parliament.

However, notwithstanding the statement issued a few weeks ago by the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops that they intend to wade into the debate, some part of me resents him making the letter public for the purpose of stirring up the populace. I’m not saying it’s wrong, nor that it’s unethical, nor even that he doesn’t have the right to do so.

No, what bothers me is that he, as the Archbishop of Toronto, presumes to speak not just for all Catholics (which technically is in his job description), but to dictate to the rest of us as well. "Is it fair to put children in the position of having to reconcile the values and beliefs of their parents with a state-sponsored understanding of marriage?" If it’s public education you’re worried about, don’t. There’s a separate Catholic school system and you’ve got pretty good control over what gets taught there.

Remember that we’re talking about civil not religious marriage, and the religious community has received any number of assurances that they won’t have to perform any marriages that they don’t want to. Catholic priests already won’t marry people who aren’t Catholic or who have been divorced but haven’t gotten a special dispensation from the Pope.

And remember that we’re talking about a church that has gone to great lengths to protect those members of the club from punishment who have been shown to molest young boys.

And notice that the Protestant United Church, the second largest church in the country, has formally approved same-sex marriage. Other churches are divide, unsurprisingly

And is it seven provinces and territories, or eight, that it’s already been declared legal and right? Federal legislation is just icing on the cake. The rest of the provinces will work things out eventually.

"Can we say with certainty what the social outcome of a redefinition of

marriage would be?" Cardinal Ambrozic asked. "In all humility, none of us can do so." You’re right, but I’m pretty sure that we’ve got a thing called the separation of church and state to avoid you being able to tell the rest of us or the government what to do.

Stuff it up your cassock, you Tool.

No, We Like Jews. Really.

And a secondary mention today, no less deserved but a bit overshadowed perhaps, Québec Premier Jean Charest.

I an ill-conceived, ill-advised, and un-consulted move, he’s unilaterally decided to fully fund Jewish private schools. The idea is to be more inclusive, to make them feel fully welcome in Québec society.

Let’s disregard that it was probably less than an hour before the Muslim schools demanded equal treatment and that he should expect every religious or ethnic group that has private schools to put their hands out as well. Charest’s heart is in the right place (otherwise he’d keel over), but I’m not too sure about the brain. This wasn’t very well thought out. If you want society to be more inclusive educationally, I’d think the best way to do it would be to make the public schools more welcoming and inclusive to all groups so that so many of those groups wouldn’t find it necessary to have their own private schools. Translation: more money into public education. (This would, by the way, take a lot of the money that goes into public school tuition and put it back out into the rest of the economy.)

The loud criticisms and angry cries of “Foul!” probably started far less than an hour after the announcement, quite likely even before the announcement finished airing, and in more than just our two official languages. My guess is that it will be less than 72 hours before he flip-flops. Considerably less.

And let’s not forget that Québec public education is as under-funded as it is in Ontario. Give the public school more money, you Tool.

The Rules Don’t Apply to the Next Gretzky, Buddy.

Yesterday, an unnamed hockey Dad in Toronto reached over the glass into the player’s area to choke his son’s hockey coach. Apparently, he disagreed with the benching of his son for several shifts after the boy missed practice, the local league policy. It’s a fairly widespread policy, I think, and a good one. Someone called 9-1-1 and the police arrived shortly.

What is it about hockey that causes the brains to dribble out of some parents’ ears? Not all parents, I’d better say right away (other handy parents intervened to pull him off the coach), but you don’t hear about this kind of thing happening in other sports nearly as often as in hockey. What was the last incident of baseball rage that made the news?

I blame the culture of the NHL. Fighting has become part of the game. I should say it’s a well-established part of the game. There’s an old one-liner that goes “I went to a fight once, and a hockey game broke out.” Overpaid goons like Marty McSorley and Todd Bertuzzi end careers of other players, get a tiny fine, a short suspension, and a little community service then hit the ice to strike again. Should we be surprised that this behaviour spills out into minor hockey at all levels? Should we be surprised that parents who watch the “real” thing get over-excited and over-involved because they’ve overestimated the hockey potential of their children? In these days of road rage, lack of self-control, and refusal to take responsibility for your own actions, should we be surprised if someone assaults a coach or referee on a regular basis? After all, my kid is the next Gretzky, or whoever is the biggest star today.

The unnamed (to protect his son, whom I have great sympathy for) Dad is out on $2,000 bail after appearing in court today. He’s been ordered to attend anger management classes and is to be banned from hockey arenas in the city for some period. Not enough. When this goes to trial, I’d like to see criminal charges, major community service, and the kick in the teeth that a little jail time would bring. Not likely considering the kinds of wrist tickles that NHL goons get for worse behaviours. But maybe, since he’s not a celebrity, it might go a little differently.

Get a grip, you Tool, it’s just a kid’s hockey game.

Look, Mommy. I Can See Her Boobies!

Stepping away from the world of Canadian politics for today, I’m selecting everyone in the U.S. who complained to the FCC about the nudity contained in Athens Olympics opening ceremonies. Why this is only coming to light now, I don’t know, but it’s still freaking ridiculous.

Aside from the incredible contribution Ancient Greece made to Western culture (and what’s wrong with celebrating that?); aside from the point that one of the reasons much of the world is pissed of at the United States is the constant attempts to ram American values and culture down the throats of everyone else on the planet; aside from the “fact” that supposedly 3.9 billion people watched the opening ceremonies for the Athens Olympics, who gives a rat’s ass what a handful of prudish Tools thinks who can’t see beyond what their own heavily-edited bibles tell them? So there was a little bit of nudity involved in the olympics. So what? The ancient Greeks actually competed in the nude. If it bothers you so much, don’t watch. You’re free to be offended, but you’ve got no business telling me, or the rest of the world, or even the rest of your own company, that we should be, too.

Turn off the television, you Tools, there’s a whole universe out there that you don’t want to see.

Pepperoni, Mushrooms, and Sausage, please. And I’d Like To Pay With a Visa.

I now have to say former Federal Immigration Minister Judy Sgro – she resigned today in the midst of her latest scandal so that she can actually defend herself. This is the first intelligent thing she’s done publicly that’s made the news in a significant way. As long as something is before the courts, it’s a conflict of interest for her to open her mouth about it while she’s the minister. She now has the freedom to sue the asses of the poor sod fighting deportation and his “witnesses.”

But really, free pizza for a smoothed out visa process? Could she actually be this stupid? Somehow I doubt it, in spite of the filed affidavit. Still, anything is possible – look at some of the other Tools we’ve elected to office, never mind some of the things that have fallen out of her mouth in the past.

Whether or not the story is true, I think Judy’s real problem is the moral and intellectual quality of people she hired to work for her and how disgruntled she made many of them when they were thrown out on their asses during house cleaning after the last election. It was probably a little late to figure out that they weren’t necessarily looking after her best interests in completely above board ways. Actually, the day after she hired most of them was probably a little late, but no one has ever accused a politician of being quick on the uptake that I’m aware of.

Still, in spite of doing something halfway intelligent for once, Mistress Sgro is today’s Tool because of all of the stupidities she’s committed to bring her to today’s decision. Apparently, it takes quite a number of smacks in the political head to get her to start using her brain.

Study the game a little more before you try to make a comeback, you Tool.